I know, I know...two blog posts in as many hours, bad me!
Anyway, I have a confession to make. My name is Claire, and I have an addiction to glossy magazines. Company, Elle, Glamour...but especially Cosmopolitan. This is the one magazine that is universally hated by men, and I can be oh-so-cynical about the women who read these magazines, but to my shame, I am one of them. I just love the mindless laziness of curling up with a cup of tea and 304 pages of girlyness.
However. I just laughed myself silly at an article in the December edition. Sadly it's not online so I shall have to type up bits from it...
All I want for Christmas...
...isn't a boyfriend, thank you very much, says Tracy Ramsden.
Okay, fair play. Christmas is a time of couples and love, and sometimes it's bloody depressing to be single.
...But the more I thought about it, the angrier I felt about the negative messages dropped on us during December. There'll be the obligatory EastEnders scenes where the latest Albert Square dumpee drowns their sorrows in a whisky glass, and newspaper articles banging on about how to 'survive' the loneliest time of year, all because there's this myth that single equals miserable. But the truth it, it's not 2001 anymore and Bridget Jones is long gone. Single girls won't be spending Christmas day alone in their PJs and a crumped up paper hat watching The Vicar of Dibley with a bottle of wine and a family pack of mince pies.
At this point, I was thinking "yeah! Girl power!" and other 90s catchphrases...
...And Christmas is the season of hope. While your coupled-up friends have Christmas all planned out, we have no idea where we'll be or even who we'll be waking up with. And that's got to be more exciting than arguing with your boyfriend over who's going to stuff the turkey.
Er, right, because all couples argue over such things...but never mind, she's still being positive and advocating being happily single...
If you can rise above the niggles, you'll see Christmas really is a time for giving and recieving (phone numbers, hopefully!).
Wait, what? Suddenly she is planning to hook up with a man for Christmas? I thought she didn't
want a man...and so the backtracking and confusion begins...
I once met a cute guy (who I later dated) after he let me wear his jacket in a freezing-cold taxi queue. You see, you never know who might pop out of your cracker!
...Aaaaand it's all over. She has predictably slipped straight back into "never mind dear, you'll find someone soon. He'll probably be a drunk twat who will eventually break your heart, but hey, it's better than being alone at Christmas!" mindset that characterises Cosmopolitan writers. And then, the article ends with an absolute gem:
Next month: Tracy goes in search of Mr January!
Ugh. Clearly this woman is distinctly unhappy being single, but for the sake of pop-feminism, has tried (and failed) to make it seem like not having a boyfriend is great!
Newsflash, people. Being single can be great. Being in a relationship can be great. Being single can be shit. Being in a relationship can be shit. And now I'm off to read my christmas horoscope with extra added lovescope!!!111!!1!1!oneone111!!
4 comments:
I am single, and for the first time in a while, by choice [as far as being totally fucked up in the head is a choice, that is...]. Quite frankly, friendship is more important, and I mean that wholeheartedly.
Exactly, both of you! It's just such...bollocks.
Oh, and I dislike the way they separate horoscopes into "single" and "settled"- I hate having to be one or the other. And December's horoscope was a bit crap.
claire you wont be alone at christmas... you get to have me annoying the hell out of you! (possibly while drunk) and hey, screw relationships, christmas is about family. tis the only time of year my family gets together. thats why i love christmas and i have spent my share of them single.
as for the writer, she was rtying to appea to everyone in one artical. and its a junk mag, what did you expect? coherent articals? :P
I'll be "taken" but "single" this christmas...
Christmas is all about family...I guess when you're married, your SO becomes your family. Maybe that's the kinda "singleness" they're talking about. Personally, Christmas isn't the lonely time for me...it's the chiming at midnight New Year's when I want someone to kiss, partner, friend or stranger!
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