Today, I sang infront of someone I have known for a good 7 years for the first time. That's not entirely true; I've sang infront of him in a jokey way several times, not to mention screaming lyrics such as "WE ARE THE ANGRY MOB, WE READ THE PAPERS EVERY DAY" at Werchter last week. But today I put myself on the line and sang seriously, and dear god it was scary and now I'm wondering how his eardrums didn't bleed...
This made me think about how, when we are little, we don't worry so much what people will think of us. Most people don't draw or paint on a regular basis, or indeed at all. And yet when we were younger, we all drew countless pictures involving mummy, daddy, brothers and sisters, Rover and Felix, with a big blue stripe of sky and a big green stripe of grass. We also all sang, and danced, and ran and jumped. But then somewhere along the line, someone said "you can't sing/paint/dance/run...you're rubbish" and that stuck and we took it to heart and even now I'll tell people I can't sing, I can't draw and I can't dance. I can run, but I think I'm rubbish and very slow.
It seems sad to me that our carefree younger selves were stifled by a careless comment and we grew up into caring adults who worry what other people think us, perhaps too much.
In other news, it became painfully obvious a week ago that whilst it takes two to tango, it only takes one to stop dancing.
Dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening, live like it's heaven on earth.
I try...
9 comments:
It's true, although I ACTUALLY can't draw or dance! I can no longer claim that I can't play any music anymore either, although it's still a bit shaky. It's true that we are instilled at the least with a tendancy toward modesty about things, and at most a complete and paralysing paranoia preventing any and all public performance or attempt at art. I don't tend to sing in front of people because I feel like a bit of a prat, but I'll happily warble away to myself when I'm alone. I'm not terrible at singing, but I'm not great so...hmm.
I think I'll stop rambling now.
I can sing - I have been in choirs for years - and yet I still don't like singing by myself in front of people, particularly those who I don't know well 'cos my voice isn't... well... that good, to my ears anyway.
I also can't dance, can't draw, and have the social skills of a mathematician. All slight exaggerations, but they do contain more than a grain of truth. It's the tricky balance between confidence and self-delusion, but I agree that we have managed to become somewhat stifled!
You're right, Lucy...the balance between confidence and self-delusion. If anyone asks, I'll also say I'm a shite photographer.
Haha anyone who has traveled in my car tends to get a dose of my singing, its like balancing out as a rule im a creful driver so i make sure people are terrified of my singing... haha. no i know i cant sing everyone tells me, i just dont care. makes me smile! i know i cant draw (disphraxia kills that one off, when you cant controll fine motor functions drawing becomes like torture. can see it in my head but my hands are just too stupid)
i still run occasionaly. but not often
i guess im an odd one cos you right most people arelike you said, im weird cos i know it but it never stops me :)
i liked the closing words. sounds like a song?
Tis a quote, Ben. Mark Twain, I think.
I can't dance. I can draw but only certain things, so I doodle obsessively up until I realise that people are watching what I draw.
My singing is very classical and my range is odd, so there isn't much I can sing well.
There's also the point where we get good enough at something to realise how much better we could be at it. So if you ask me, I'll say I am utterly rubbish at the piano. I'm not in comparison to non-players or people who never had lessons but who can crack out A Thousand Miles or My Heart Will Go On; but in comparison to many of my friends, or in comparison to the sort of standard I'd like to be, I AM rubbish - it's just that I am so aware of my limitations.
Meanwhile, hooray for dispraxia and Mark Twain. One of those two cheers was sarcastic.
This ties in with many things I've been thinking recently. Good blog.
I don't think it's necessarily to to with how good you are, but the levels of embarassment by doing/singing/saying something unusual or out of place. People don't generally go around singing outloud or crazily dancing, often people are quite reserved in their manner, so sometimes it's the "you're weird" rather than "you're rubbish" idea that gets to people.
Well, I guess that does come around to caring too much what people think, along with the strange concept that we are expected to deny or play down our talents to avoid the appearance of arrogance.
I recommend for everyone to spend two weeks with primary school children. My inhibitions have flown right out of the window and I feel no shame dancing around a room like an idiot - for the time being ;o)
"There's also the point where we get good enough at something to realise how much better we could be at it."
Too true, Jenny! It's through having received so much musical knowledge (through various instruments, including voice, and through having done A-Level) that I criticise my singing/ playing so much. I can hear when I'm slightly out of tune, I can hear when a phrase hasn't been shaped nicely, I can hear when my tone leaves something to be desired! And the same could be applied to running, dancing, anything.
My voice is also of a classical nature... what part do you sing, out of interest?
Hannah - sounds like a plan :-)
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