In my town there is a service run in the central carpark where a team of men wash cars while their owners are shopping etc. It's quite good value for money actually. Anyway, today I parked and one of the men approached me while I was buying my carparking ticket, and said "Would you like your car washed, madam?". I said no thank you, and smiled, and went on my way. But I was left pondering the way he'd addressed me; 'madam'.
I first noticed about six months ago that people such as ticket collectors on trains had begun to refer to me as 'madam' rather than 'miss'. It always makes me giggle somewhat as it brings to mind images of some sort of "Madam Whiplash" character. Anyway, clearly I look old enough now to be a madam rather than a miss...but what determines this?
Along these lines, about two years ago I applied for a new passport, and it's my first adult 10-year one, so it'll last me until I'm 28. Aside from the fact that I (hopefully!) won't look 18 when I'm nearly 30, I'm hoping that I might have got married by then...in which case I'd get a new passport, I presume. But I spent quite some time trying to decide whether to title myself 'miss' or 'ms'. I went for 'miss' in the end, purely because I liked the sound of it better. But I'm not sure whether I'll still want to be Miss Claire Routh when I'm 28...maybe I'll feel like Ms Claire Routh then instead. It sounds older, somehow...more mature. Men have it easy! Nobody uses 'master' anymore so boys are 'Mr' from when they're born till they die...nothing changes when they marry, and they don't have this confusion of 'miss' vs 'ms'.
So then, ladies...are you a 'miss' or a 'ms', and can you see that changing?
Do you care how you are addressed, be it as 'madam', 'miss', or 'oi, you!'?
Men/boys/guys/chaps/lads...do you wish there was an equivalent of the 'miss'->'ms'->'mrs' progression for you?
And why are men addressed as 'sir' anyway? That's not the equivalent of 'madam'...wait, what is the equivalent of 'madam'?!
Ahh, linguistics... <3
9 comments:
I don't like Ms. It sounds like a buzz rather than an actual word, and I think it looks a bit odd and fussy. I haven't given much of a thought as to what would happen to my name if I get married - maybe by that time I'll be Dr. ;o)
I don't think I've really noted a madam/miss distiction, but being referred to as "lady" as in "let the lady through, Dylan" is what struck me as a sign of growing up - when did I stop being a "girl" and start being a "lady"?!
I'm pretty sure 'ms' is used when a woman doesn't want to give away her marital status - ie single, married, divorced or otherwise is there is one. "Mzzz" its odd I rarely see it used though.
"Miss", when used outside of addressing a letter or something tends to make me think of some cheeky, cockney lad trying his luck on. I don't know where I got that idea from I've obvious been reading too much Victorian literature lately :oP
I've decided I'm going to be like ee cumings had change my name by deed poll to all lowercase letters...half the time I write my name with a small 'h' anyway.
I quite like just "oi, you!" I'll never be a lady ;o)
Haha, in reference to stereotypes - Ms conjures up images of divorcées or lesbians. I have a feeling it's used more in writing than in spoken address, I guess when talking you can kind of blur the name, so you can't tell what the title is*
*having said that, I just tried doing this, and it sounds like I'm drunk, which is probably not the best impression to give "Your room is now ready, Msss Booth"
I'm a 'miss' through and through. I have no shame that I'm not married, or care that people know...it probably doesn't surprise them at the moment anyway!
I'm definately going to change my name when I get married (i think Bowles you suit me lol). I'm old fashioned like that, but I would like Harvey in my child/ren's name/s...just so the name doesn't die with me in a way. Not double barrell, maybe a first name...
'Ms' doesn't appeal to me because I'm not a '60's wild child fighting for independence. I'm unmarried...so what? I don't think there is as much as a stigma towards 'spinters' (god I hate that word) these days because unmarried couples work.
A friend who reads but is clearly too terrified of you all to comment ;) said to me that he thinks the equivalent of sir is ma'am. I have never been called ma'am, but I think it's somewhat more of an Americanism, and I've never been to America!
Hannah- I used to write my name with all lower-case letters, but recently I've acquired a certain affection for capitals that I never had before.
My mother kept her maiden name when she married, for work purposes (being a high-flying editor and all, wot wot), so she's always been Ms Rivers. I'd stick with Miss for now, although when I grow up I might think more about Ms. I don't know. Also I find I refer to my male friends as 'men', 'guys' or 'blokes' these days -- never 'boys' -- and I tend to compensate and call my girl-friends 'women'. There isn't anything like 'guys' between 'girls' and 'women' -- there so should be! Ma'am' is madam - it's just the amrican version. So, Madam and Sir are direct equivalents. Or, of course, madam could be equivalent to J. Bloggs Esq; but you never say 'esquire'...
I think I'd like to take my husbands name; but my parents might not approve because of the whole feminism/ownership debate.
I've rambled long enough now, I think...GOD I need sleep.
I've got to the age now where I tend to like being a "Ms", but here's an interesting thing - I'm applying for jobs at the moment and using "Miss" as my title, for the simple reason that I think "Ms" has too many implications of maturity as in "in-a-relationship-about-to-want-to-have-children" maturity, and I know I'm less likely to get a job if that's the case.
Oooh, tres political!
What did you expect in a comment from your big sis?!
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